Saturday, May 06, 2006
Holy Fucking Shit
I've just walked in the door and I'm typing more slowly and deliberately than ever before. So many drinks, so many people, so many activities. And holy fucking shit...so many stories.
Biggest of all...I left the apartment today feeling like a full blown, glazed (stuffed with raspberry jelly) Krispy Kreme donut. I met up with this gay guy that I haven't seen in over a year. He's like a casting director for Abercrombie and Snores and he used to have a huge crush on me, so I wanted to be as good looking and confident as possible.
Mistake number one: I didn't get my haircut this afternoon.
Mistake number two: I ate two slices of pizza for lunch and it made me feel gassy and bloated. HOT!
Mistake number three: whatever...I needed a three.
When my friend showed up, he was all over my shit and was like, ur hot and this and that and blah and snore and ur hot. He has a very serious boyfriend these days, so it was kind of cool that he was all up in my shit.
So then I decided...if he thinks I'm all that and shit, then I really need to portray that.
And I did.
(I have no time or energy for quotes and shit)
Uberbuffbartender: What do you want to drink?
Me: Vodka/redbull
Uber: Do you have id?
Me: (laughing) uh yeah. (i show him and he smiles). But now you're not getting a tip.
Uber: What if I told you that you were the cutest guy in here?
Me: Here's three dollars.
How fucking lame am I for even considering the fact that the bartender would be sincerely interested in me. That's like a risk I would have taken when I was 22. But at 28 I know better.
So you know what I did?
I wrote my phone number down on a piece of paper and gave it to him and told him that I understand the bartender code and I'm cool and HORK and if you want to have dinner, call...yeah. And the thing is, he truly madly deeply seemed to want to.
Guys...this guy is absolutely, unbelievably beautiful. YOu know I don't go for the skinny, nor the fems. This guy was like 30ish and so so built, yet so so sweet (which is how I knew he was gay), and the minute he looked in my eyes and connected with me, I really felt it.
I've been on numerous dates over the last couple of months. But in five minutes I felt more with him than I've felt with any of the others.
I actually have a slight case of the butterflies.
He won't call. I gave him my number and didn't take his for a reason. But if he does...if he actually does...I could possibly, actually...whole heartedly, have the chance of feeling something for someone other than Paul.
I know this is drunk Joe talking...but you need to know me and understand how well I know myself. I make a decision about people within the first 10 minutes.
And with this guy...five and I was smitten.
Joe needs to date someone that's going to teach him...gently...about sex. But the thing is...Joe needs to be attracted to him and willing to give it up a little.
This guy can have it. And if he doesn't want it...I gotta say...if felt AMAZING to go out tonight and feel like the hottest, coolest, most amazing guy at the party. Yes, I have great friends, but Joe rocked it for Joe tonight.
I've never been more proud. Of myself.
I've just walked in the door and I'm typing more slowly and deliberately than ever before. So many drinks, so many people, so many activities. And holy fucking shit...so many stories.
Biggest of all...I left the apartment today feeling like a full blown, glazed (stuffed with raspberry jelly) Krispy Kreme donut. I met up with this gay guy that I haven't seen in over a year. He's like a casting director for Abercrombie and Snores and he used to have a huge crush on me, so I wanted to be as good looking and confident as possible.
Mistake number one: I didn't get my haircut this afternoon.
Mistake number two: I ate two slices of pizza for lunch and it made me feel gassy and bloated. HOT!
Mistake number three: whatever...I needed a three.
When my friend showed up, he was all over my shit and was like, ur hot and this and that and blah and snore and ur hot. He has a very serious boyfriend these days, so it was kind of cool that he was all up in my shit.
So then I decided...if he thinks I'm all that and shit, then I really need to portray that.
And I did.
(I have no time or energy for quotes and shit)
Uberbuffbartender: What do you want to drink?
Me: Vodka/redbull
Uber: Do you have id?
Me: (laughing) uh yeah. (i show him and he smiles). But now you're not getting a tip.
Uber: What if I told you that you were the cutest guy in here?
Me: Here's three dollars.
How fucking lame am I for even considering the fact that the bartender would be sincerely interested in me. That's like a risk I would have taken when I was 22. But at 28 I know better.
So you know what I did?
I wrote my phone number down on a piece of paper and gave it to him and told him that I understand the bartender code and I'm cool and HORK and if you want to have dinner, call...yeah. And the thing is, he truly madly deeply seemed to want to.
Guys...this guy is absolutely, unbelievably beautiful. YOu know I don't go for the skinny, nor the fems. This guy was like 30ish and so so built, yet so so sweet (which is how I knew he was gay), and the minute he looked in my eyes and connected with me, I really felt it.
I've been on numerous dates over the last couple of months. But in five minutes I felt more with him than I've felt with any of the others.
I actually have a slight case of the butterflies.
He won't call. I gave him my number and didn't take his for a reason. But if he does...if he actually does...I could possibly, actually...whole heartedly, have the chance of feeling something for someone other than Paul.
I know this is drunk Joe talking...but you need to know me and understand how well I know myself. I make a decision about people within the first 10 minutes.
And with this guy...five and I was smitten.
Joe needs to date someone that's going to teach him...gently...about sex. But the thing is...Joe needs to be attracted to him and willing to give it up a little.
This guy can have it. And if he doesn't want it...I gotta say...if felt AMAZING to go out tonight and feel like the hottest, coolest, most amazing guy at the party. Yes, I have great friends, but Joe rocked it for Joe tonight.
I've never been more proud. Of myself.
